E. Pluribus Anus

dailydoseofsamantics:

There is this guy on the bus who calls himself Jeff. Jeff narrates the entire bus ride in third person. Today was the only day I have been on the bus with Jeff where someone has told him to shut up. Jeff sighed and then said “Jeff dramatically looks out of the window while sighing. Jeff just couldn’t understand why people had to be so rude.” The person who told him to shut up now looks like he is going to cry out of frustration.

(via singthesongofsirens)

pizzaforpresident:

heytinafey:

fun fact i once made a fake reese witherspoon twitter 4 shits and denise richards messaged me a couple times asking me if i was the real deal/telling me stories about her pet pig

this is my favorite post of all time

ifyoulaugh:

Click for more funny YouTube comments.

ben-brucey:

Are we ever even taught how to play rock paper scissors or are we just born with the ability to do so? 

(via singthesongofsirens)

(via singthesongofsirens)

(via ifyoulaugh)

1plus1chainz:

IML AUGHING S OMUCH OMG THIS MAKES LITERSALLY ZERO SENSE LIKE ISTHE CUPBOARD TOOO LOUD WHEN HE OPENNS IT????H OW DOES TH AT HAPPEN OMG I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

(via singthesongofsirens)

lydiabutz:

This guy in my art class forgot his paint brush so he just cut off a chunk of his hair and taped it to a pencil.

I feel like he has more commitment to fine art than I do.

(via singthesongofsirens)

relatablefangirl:

poking-roger-waters-penis:

freddies-beautiful-smile:

freddies-beautiful-smile:

Mother of god. My mom was trying to take a picture of our christmas tree. Being the troll I am, I kept photobombing. She had me sit down to stop and I threw my phone, knowing it’d never work. It worked. We have a picture of our christmas tree with a flying phone

You guys thought I was kidding…

omG

it looks like it’s taking a selfie… #nomakeup #natural #xmas

(via singthesongofsirens)

ecriture-de-la-fangirl:

findango:

growingtwist:

sirius-black-is-my-homeboy:

neeliabelikova:

9gag:

Mine is Blue Ramen. What’s yours?

yellow ice cream. XD

black and white fries

yellow toast!

Red Shake

i think my band is awesome.

Gray Wheat Thins…

Welp. I’m a success.

…… Blue Waffle……….damn…..

(via i-wish-i-were-pantless)